The Semi-Secret E-mails Of Darth Vader and Sauron
by Phoewise Prefect
Summary: Darth Vader from Star Wars and Sauron from Lord of the Rings exchange e-mail addresses and become pen pals.
1. To: Sauron From: Darth Vader Re: I'm Sor...

From: "Darth Vader"   
  
To: sauron_the_deceiver1@yahoo.com   
  
Subject: I'm sorry.   
  
Date: Sat, 27 Apr 2002 20:02:39 +0000   
  
  
  
Dear Sauron,  
  
I'm really very sorry about what I said at your birthday party. I realize now, in retrospect, that we WERE, after all, on your turf, and threatening to take over Middle-Earth unless your bartenders stopped putting salt on my margaritas was a little rude.  
  
You must forgive me. I had just gotten in a fight with Obi-Wan Kenobi (Why did you invite him? You KNOW we don't get along!) over whether or not the proper gift to give you for your 123490823498234908th birthday was a   
light saber. I suppose next time maybe I will not steal Obi-Wan's light saber when he's asleep and give it to you as a present. I know that was cheap.  
  
Anyway, just apologizing. I hope you will find it in your cold, soul-less heart to forgive to me.  
  
Sincerely,  
Darth Vader 


	2. To: Darth Vader From: Sauron Re: Reply: ...

From : Sauron Smith   
  
To : Darth Vader   
  
Subject : Re: I'm sorry.   
  
Date : Sat, 27 Apr 2002 14:42:19 -0700 (PDT)   
  
  
  
Darth Vader-   
  
I suppose I can forgive you. =) However, you DID hurt my feelings. :'( It's going to take a while to get over that. My therapist says you were only trying to do the good thing and help me so it would be advisable that I forgive you.  
  
On the other hand, I was very disappointed to find out you had stolen that light saber from Obi-Wan Kenobi. =( Am I not special enough to buy a present for? But those blueberry mini-muffins consoled me. (c:  
  
Next year, if I do decide to invite Obi-Wan Kenobi, I will make sure that he is in a completely seperate territory from you. =D  
  
Hey, maybe we can be pen pals!!! My therapist says that a pen pal would be good for my chronic depression. And with the internet superhighway, anything is possible! =) =) =) LOL!  
  
Please write back.  
  
-Sauron 


	3. To: Sauron From: Darth Vader Re: Pen Pal...

From: "Darth Vader"   
  
To: "Sauron Smith"   
  
Subject: Pen Pals  
  
Date: Sun, 28 Apr 2002 12:01:42 +0000  
  
  
  
Dear Sauron,  
As you may know, I'm a very hostile person. I'm not sure being pen pals would be the best thing for your health.  
  
However, I will agree to try this out and I will be as optimistic as possible.  
  
Antway, if this is going to work, perhaps you should know more about me.  
  
Things I like:  
-Lightsabers  
-Banana nut mini-muffins  
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer  
-Very large interstellar wars  
-Bunny rabbits  
  
Things I dislike:  
-Gungans  
-Han Solo (he thinks he's all that and a bag of the Force)  
-Alvin and the Chipmunks  
-Blueberries  
-Sugarless gum (unless it's Orbit gum--have you tried that stuff? It's addictive!)  
  
Anyway, I hope you are satisfied.  
  
Sincerely,  
Darth Vader 


	4. To: Darth Vader From: Sauron Re: Likes a...

From: Sauron Smith   
  
To: Darth Vader   
  
Subject: Likes and dislikes!!! !!! !!!  
  
Date: Sun, 28 Apr 2002 15:56:07 -0700 (PDT)  
  
  
  
Darth Vader-  
It makes me happy =) that you have agreed to be my pen pal. I'm so excited! =D  
  
LOL! You want to know something funny? I like bunny rabbits, too!!! (=B What a kawinkadink! ;-)  
  
I prefer watching ER to Buffy the Vampire Slayer myself, though. ;) I mean, like, Buffy is so like, ditzy! LOL! J/K Buffy is cool, but she's too... like... you KNOW... I mean, she's like, a slut. LOLZ! J/K, really, I'm kidding. =)  
  
Well, here are some of my likes and dislikes:  
  
Likes:  
-Flowers  
-Pink  
-Green grass on a fresh, sunny summer day  
-Cotton candy  
-Frodo Baggins (hey, that's one HOTT hobbit!!!)  
-Nice jewelry  
-Legolas (OMG! What a hottie!)  
  
Dislikes:  
-Samwise Gamgee (trying to steal Frodo from me! OMG! What an @$$hole!)  
-Russell Crowe  
-Gandalf (he tried hitting on me once :-l )  
  
Anyway I g2g. :-*  
  
-Sauron 


End file.
